I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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