I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
