Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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