she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
