Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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