belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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