so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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