its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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