yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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