So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
