Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
third nipple confirmed
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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