What a fucking waste of an outfit
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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