where does the pee come out of this thing
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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