fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
