I'm jealous of your bromance
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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