I think I am morally bankrupt
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
