fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he was CRYING into my vagina
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
