There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dicks are not precious.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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