Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
