It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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