worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
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I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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