fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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