No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
