guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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