I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Damn victory sex feels great
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize