You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
