We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
