I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
