There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
