Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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