I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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