I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the day after is always just damage control
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
