I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
