No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
