Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
