Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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