tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
