I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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