My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
