$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
