He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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