he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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