so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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