I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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