you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
