My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
