you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Couch. On fire.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
