i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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