my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.