glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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