you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF