Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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