if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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