I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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