did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
