i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
