So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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