She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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