Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
