i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I stole a fireplace last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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